When you truly move past wishing mom were different …..you open to the possibilities of a life transformed.
You and your daughter can write your own chapter.
Parenting her differently can transform your pain into strength.
Walking away (from the argument or the relationship) can be the most grown-up thing you can do.
Grown-up. Liberating. Freeing.
-This is a portal of transformation.
Imagine that you are in a tug of war. You pull, she pulls. Then imagine you let go of the rope. You have your own life. You have your own daughter. You are the momma now.
It is your turn now.
When you stop trying to get your Narcissistic Mothers approval, you free up energy.
You can find a new kind of satisfaction. The kind of satisfaction that comes with finding your own voice and having the relationship on your terms.
You can pull out your people-pleasing ways by the roots and stop exhausting yourself.
You could get clear on what you will and will not do.
Stand tall and firm, with kindness and compassion… saving your open heart for those who respect you.
Feels good, huh?
When you have experienced a balanced relationship, it feels wonderful.
It isn’t selfish- it is self-empowering.
Fierce. Strong. Protective……….. in the best possible way.
There is a difference.
And your daughter needs your example. Your example is not play pretend. You are playing for real now.
For yourself and your daughter you want to give up the role of the “Good Daughter.” It isn’t enough for you anymore. This is the only way to wholeness.
Clarity and confidence are yours, the reward for coming into conscious awareness.
And conscious awareness is the way home to yourself and your portal to the transcendent feminine.
There is honor and dignity in grieving and letting go of what isn’t working.
Only then can you claim your ticket to freedom.
The freedom to value yourself. To break the cycle of women putting themselves last and then taking their resentment out on their daughters.
It ends here.
When you can achieve this kind of healthy separation with mom, you have more energy to put towards your relationship with your own daughter.
When you aren’t so afraid to say no to what doesn’t work for you, you can say yes to what does feel good.
You need to do this, be the example for your own daughter. She needs to see what NO looks like.
You can reconfigure, reinvent and reimagine how you relate to your mother, whether or not she is willing to make any changes.
You may not realize it, may not be ready to claim it but ……sister, YOU are the momma now.
You have more power than you know. All you need to do is claim it. I have been where you are. I can help you with this. With kindness, compassion always….
Reinvent. Reimagine. Restore.
You can totally do this.
To get free and live life on your own terms, you totally need to do this.
I can show you how.
This article originally appeared on http://daughtersrising.info Katherine’s sister site.