The choice-after the emotional face plant:
So you have picked yourself up and dusted your self off from the humiliation of a resounding defeat, rejection or downright heartbreak. Feeling good and sorry for yourself you ate the entire bag of potato chips and thrown yourself one hell of a pity party. Funny hats and horn blowers to crow your blame, count and covet the wrongs you have been dealt. Not enough? ok…. yea… shake your fits to the heavens or at the Buddha or Allah. Burn the effigy of the Goddess. Get pissed off. Lose your religion or spirituality. Really any frog leaping over this stage will be a ruse. Even if your version is a whisper of curse or self-justification, it is all the same animal. We need to say ouch when life deals us those inevitable blows.
And just like the sun coming up, you can be assured that if you live long enough and dare to live and love, something hurtful will happen. No, it won’t be fair and yes you can make the choice to learn from it or live a little smaller… in response.
Sooner or later you make a choice – the fork in the road. You will move towards greater awareness, growth, and expansion or you will recoil in anger, constriction, and rigidity.
Mostly this choice is made at the unconscious level depending on your habitual way of being with yourself.
Therapy is about helping you make this transition be a healthy one.
Having said that, I should also add that the path towards self-awareness and health will most likely be a zigzagged one. In the lyrics of the great Bruce Springsteen, a 3 steps forward 2 steps back kinda deal. … Nonetheless whether or not you are aware of it there will be a trajectory, a story arc.
Perhaps you are long in the habit of moving in the direction of getting pissed off or not looking inward.
You may have settled for the cold comfort of blaming the world and never letting the light in of self-awareness.
It is akin to cuddling up too close to a teddy bear who has prickly fur. As uncomfortable as that is, did you know you have a choice? Have you tallied the cost of clinging to that kind of cold comfort? You come to a crossroads and ask yourself, “Is the pain of changing is less than the cost of staying the same?”.
If the answer is yes, you will be on the precipice of making the CHOICE to change and grow.
And that change will set you free and set the stage for living bigger, greater, more passionately. Are you ready?