Third Backup 141_edited-1

When you first get into therapy, I’ll bet you will say you want to lose something.  “I want to get rid of this anxiety once and for all”. “I want to lose this depression for good!” What I almost never hear is,“ I want to lose this way of knowing myself and being in the world. “
Yet, if therapy is successful, that is exactly what will happen. This is the one reason that change, even much wished for change, is so hard to achieve.
If you take therapy seriously, and I hope you do, you will lose something… so be forewarned. You will lose how you know yourself to be. You will lose the old way of doing things. You will lose what you thought, at some level, was the thing that kept you safe. The prickly teddy bear you cling to might be a cynical attitude, a basic distrust of the opposite sex, or perhaps it is an “I’ll leave you before you get a chance to leave me” mandate that keeps sabotaging your intimate relationships.

You don’t know you are holding yourself back. It is your unconscious mind that is trying to protect you- yet in doing so it is limiting you.

The ways in which this can manifest is literally unlimited and probably out of your awareness.  In other words, without help, you don’t know you are doing it.

That thing that is keeping you from the life you’d like to live is most likely an attitude, a mindset, even a relationship you can’t bring yourself to leave.  But, ironically even though doing and thinking the same old way isn’t comfortable anymore, a part of you clings to the old mindsets hoping against hope that it WILL work out this time, darn it!

We are all victims of Stockholm syndrome in one fashion or other. The mind clings to control, or at least the illusion, thereof.

But if you stay with it the self-discovery, you will gain. Yes, you will gain so much. The world is so much bigger and more full of possibilities than you once thought. If you are ready to do the work of letting go, of living small you will grow out of your old life like a pair of pants that no longer fit. Moving through and moving on to a better life.

You might even come to regard the painful event in your life as a blessing in disguise. A portal to transformation, if you will.

By feeling the pain and processing it, you will breath new life into your truth. By doing CPR on the dying wounded self you will bring yourself back to life with a new vision of the future.

It will be hard. It will take the best of you. It takes resources; money, time commitment, and heart but there will be a next chapter.

Moving through therapy you will not need the same old distractions, addictive behaviors or destructive life scripts. At first you might only loosen the death grip they have on you, but eventually, you will fly tethered to the truth.

Feet on the ground kinda vibe, but then and only then, will it be safe to soar. Your best life is waiting for you just on the other side.

Continue the conversation – Contact Katherine here!