Therapy for gay and lesbian clients; help from a Raleigh therapist
After years of being closeted you came out some time ago. It took grit and courage and was one of the hardest things and most important things you have ever done. Perhaps you steeled yourself for reactions. And now you have gotten on with your life.
The only problem is you still haven’t dealt with the damage living in a homophobic culture cost you. To pretend you were someone you were not, took its toll. Perhaps you never let down your guard, so that became the habit. Or, you became indispensable so you wouldn’t lose those who would surely shun you if they knew.
Like a battle-worn soldier jumping at the sound of thunder because it triggers the memory of gunfire you still have those trigger reactions when you sense homophobia around you.
You ask yourself, “Who can I trust? Can I really be myself and be loved? Do I have to be SO giving to make myself indispensable so no one can do without me if they knew I was queer.”
Yea those psychological habits don’t just go away because you came out.
Perhaps you have taken pride in your gay or lesbian orientation. You have a fulfilling social life and have established yourself in a career. Still, you harbor basic feelings of self-doubt. You might even fall prey to bouts of anxiety and depression and aren’t sure why.
Or, you might not be out to everybody. Perhaps as much as you try and hide it from yourself, there are still some family members who can’t handle your orientation. You feel it on a gut level.
As a psychologist in practice for more than 30 years I have been honored to work with some of the most courageous gay and lesbian individuals who have shared with me their second journey – the journey beyond coming out. The journey in having the strength to take a compassionate look at the wounds resulting from living in a culture that is still threatened by their own repressed sexual feelings. You know this, you feel it.
If we can be of any help in your journey, don’t hesitate to contact me here!