(Speaking Up To Your Mother – Help From a Raleigh Therapist)
Why is it so hard to say no to mom?
You are so afraid of hurting mom’s feelings.
The critical comments, the unwanted advice, the controlling moves, all add up. You feel like you want to scream, yet you choke back your words. You just can’t find your voice.
A well-meaning friend or therapist says- ” Just tell your mother how you feel” and you know you could never say that to mom, but you don’t know exactly why…….
Nobody is holding a gun to your head. You know you need to do this.
Why can’t you?
It is so hard for a daughter of the Narcissistic Mother, trapped in the role of the “Good Daughter” to set healthy boundaries. Worried about hurting her feelings renders the “Good Daughter” mute.
So, again and again, you go along to get along……
You feel like you can’t win.
If your mother is Narcissistic or has Narcissistic traits, you might be trapped in the “good daughter” syndrome, trying to be good for mom instead of real for yourself.
The problem is….
Trying to please everybody is pleasing nobody. Least of all you-
But you Haa AAAAate to rock the boat.
So you wonder……
Will Mom Be OK If I Set Healthy Boundaries?
This is a very common emotional reaction.
Good daughters are so attuned to mom. We don’t want to hurt her feelings. But the frustrations are breaking your heart and wearing you down.
Trying to please everyone, you please no one at all.
If you find yourself saying, “I could never say that to my mother,” maybe, just maybe… it is the very thing you need to say.
Life on the other side of saying the hard things can be very satisfying. You need to go about it with guidance and thoughtfulness. There are ways to do this with kindness and compassion. I’ve been where you are now.
I can show you how.
Join me won’t you.
This article originally appeared on http://daughtersrising.info Katherine’s sister site.