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Wake up. Wake up dearest.

It Is Time To Wake Up Now.

Time to wake up from your childhood slumber.

You know the slumber that keeps you dreaming of a mother who will understand you and love you just the way you are.

The one who is going to come along and make everything alright.

You keep waiting for her to show up and she never does.  Her Narcissism keeps her wrapped up in herself.  You have your precious daughter who is looking to you for clues for how to value yourself.

As the mother now, you need to wake up and face the grown up truth in order to survive and thrive yourself.

Here is a grown up truth.

Valuing yourself is the secret to giving your daughter self-esteem.

You can’t wait around any longer for your own mother to become the mother you need.

Some mothers are damaged themselves, and they just don’t have it to give. This isn’t fair. Of course, it isn’t fair, but sometimes it is real.

Narcissistic, Borderline, Histrionic, Addicted… mothers come in all shapes and psychological sizes. The common denominator is this; mom’s needs trumped yours.

But alas, your own daughter’s wants, needs, and vulnerabilities are tugging on your sleeve. You want to be a better mother than the one you had.

You feel the pressure of doing right by your daughter when you still need so much from your own mother.

Here’s the thing- your own tank might be empty,  yet you are still expected to come through for your own daughter.

You expect yourself to come through.

This matters. This is important. But, how can you give what you didn’t get?

Are you doomed or will you find another way?

I am here to offer you another way.

Whether you are dealing with a difficult mother, recovering your own self-esteem from the wounds she inflicted or parenting your own daughter, you can still be at the forefront of a mothering revolution.

And how in the world is that supposed to work?

I know it sounds counterintuitive but stay with me here.

Not in spite of the hurt you feel, but because of that hurt…. you will be motivated to break the cycle of hurt. As the daughter, in the role of the “Good Daughter,”  you bear the marks of mother’s pain. Yet you don’t have to mark your daughter. You can learn another way.

The old paradigms are falling away.

By facing the truth of your experience and making active changes in your own life instead of waiting for the love you never got – you can turn your hurt into power.

By learning how to connect and witness your daughter instead of constantly fixing her, you empower her and restore yourself.

I can show you how.

I’ve been there myself and helped hundreds of clients in psychotherapy who have been where you are…

With kindness and compassion always.

This article originally appeared on http://daughtersrising.info Katherine’s sister site.