(Treatment for Depression in Raleigh, N.C.)
“Can you tell me about yourself?” is a question that is first answered in words and then many times answered in tears. As a new client in therapy starts to answer my questions with their words, the heart struggles to tell its story. Frequently, tears start to flow from a place forgotten by the conscious mind. The tears have their story too. The mind starts to list the symptoms sufficient to merit a diagnosis of depression while the heart remembers the who, where, when and eventually… the why.
You see, not only do you hear my questions with your mind but your heart hears as well, and the tears are the heart’s answer, for now. The heart knows the story, not the list of symptoms. When you learn to listen to the story your heart is trying to tell, you melt the blocks to awareness and learn why the mind had to forget.
So the relevant question becomes, “Where did you lose yourself along the way?” Was it the loss of someone dear to you or the loss of a part of yourself. Did you freeze the twin feelings of guilt and anger from loving people that it hurt you to love? Perhaps the tears are a shameful reminder that you abandoned your dreams? These hopes ended in a disappointment so profound you couldn’t bear it alone—so you forgot how to dream. In order to go on, perhaps the tears were relegated to the deep freeze.
“Wait! I didn’t mean to do this.” I don’t know why I am crying, you say. I can carry these tears. They aren’t too heavy. Look, it doesn’t take much to smile.. not too much. To appear in control, isn’t that the ultimate good?”
Are you aware of the price of silencing your heart’s story? “Keeping those tears frozen inside of you as a heavyweight around your happiness, and an emptiness in the center of you, how does it feel? Are you aware of the energy it takes to be a freezer and not let anyone know-least of all yourself?”
Perhaps you will decide that the cost of staying blocked/frozen is too high. You are ready to risk the vulnerability of self-exploration. Gradually in the warmth of acceptance and understanding, your tears start to melt. That self-acceptance can come from a spiritual source, a trusted friend or a trained therapist.
From a place where time stands still shedding the tears start to heal the bitterness and hopelessness. In the soft ground of your psyche grow compassion and possibility for yourself. Both your head and your heart have a story to tell. Listen to each story-the one from your head and the one from your heart. The heart may be the source of more truth than you know so be extra gentle with her story. When the stories are told and are met with compassion and acceptance there will be one story.
You will feel the thaw, melt the frozen hurt and start life anew.
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